Not Myself Tonight
by GoinnGaGa
Summary: When a night of fun with the pack turns into so much more for Jacob and Paul, what secrets will be told? What questions will rise? And what will the consequences for their actions be?
1. Not Myself Tonight

**Not Myself Tonight**

**A/N: Hey! How is everyone's summer so far? Awesome, I hope! Well, you guys…July 3****rd**** is my one year anniversary of being on FanFiction! So, to celebrate, I wrote this! It can be a simple one shot…or I can advance it into a full on story! Either way, this is me saying thank you! Happy one year too me! Ahahaha and as a present, you guys can totally be awesome and write me a one shot! Or, just send me a message with some kind words! Ahahaha only if you really love me! But other than that yeah…here is to one kick ass year, and some more even better ones too come! Love you for sticking with me!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight!**

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**Not Myself Tonight**

I don't know how I let these guys convince me into doing this. What the hell was I thinking? I went with a pack of werewolves to Seattle to go clubbing. They made it sound like a harmless night of fun, and for the first hour or so, it was. But now, things were getting nasty between Jacob and some guy. Everyone else was having a good time. Leah and Sam were on the dance floor, Embry and Quil were practically eating each others faces in a corner while Jarred was hitting on some blond bartender; we left Seth at home since he was still under eighteen. But back to Jacob. He was obviously wasted, and some guy was trying to act tough and was now starting shit with Jacob. The last thing I wanted happening, was him phasing right now.

I began to quickly approach them and moved my way in-between them. I could feel Jacob's light trembling as he pressed against my back in an attempt to get at the guy.

"Alright guys, calm down." I spoke loudly so that they would both be able to hear me over the music.

"Yeah, you better get your boy before he gets his ass beat!" The guy said in a condescending tone. He turned around and was now talking to his little group of friends. I decided that it would be in his best interest if I just let it go.

I turned around to give Jacob a small, disapproving look. He was leaning back against the bar that wound around the whole club, calmly drinking a beer; which I didn't even know how he got, since he was under aged. I could tell by simply looking at him that he was completely wasted.

"Jacob, c'mon, I'm gonna get you back to the hotel room." I grabbed his arm and began leading him to the exit; but he was stumbling a lot, so I draped his arm over my shoulders and grabbed his waist. It was easier to pull him this way, and within a few short minutes, we were outside in the cold air of the night. I found a vacant taxi and we got inside. Once we began moving, he finally spoke.

"I don't understand it Paul." He spoke surprisingly clear. "Why would she just go back to him after he practically left her to die?"

"Who are you talking about Jake?" I asked; I had my suspicions, but I just wanted to know for sure.

"Bella!" He practically shouted, causing the driver to give us a weird look from the review mirror. "I could be everything that she needs. And for me, she wouldn't have to change a thing. I love her the way she is…but for that fucking leech, she would have to change everything…and she is willing to."

I watched as he slowly broke down in the seat next to me. It really was sad to see one of my pack mates in this kind of state. I couldn't do anything to help him, because I nothing that I could say would be good enough

"Jake, calm down kid. Think of this as a blessing." I placed a comforting hand on his trembling shoulder, "Ignorance is bliss sometimes. Maybe you're better off not knowing why she is choosing him."

To completely honest, I didn't really understand the whole situation myself. You see; Edward Cullen left Isabella Swan awhile ago, and she went into this crazy freak-out mode and Sam found her lying in the forest. Jacob was there to pick up the pieces and help her relax again. But the second that a Cullen shows up, she goes running back to them, leaving Jacob broken-hearted. He was in love with her, but she wasn't his imprint; so in time, he would find his special someone that would love him in return. That Swan girl was just a phase that he needed to get through. All I could do was comfort him and hope that the phase would end soon.

As I rubbed comforting circles on his back, the taxi driver pulled up in front of the hotel entrance. I paid him then quickly got out, with Jake behind me. It didn't take long before I had to revert back to our old position so we would move faster. We had finally gotten to the elevators of the hotel and were now patiently waiting for one of the four sets of doors to open.

"Thank you." He said, breaking our silence once again.

"For what?" I asked, since I really had no clue why he was thanking me.

"For getting me out of the club. That guy was really pissing me off."

"It was no problem really. I just saw a brother in trouble, and so I helped." I shrugged as a pair of doors slid open, revealing an empty elevator.

I had let go of Jake, and we both made our way into the elevator. Once inside, he pressed his back against the back wall of the elevator, and once I had pushed the button with "17" on it, I went and did the same. Another silence filled the space between us, but I didn't mind. I figured that he probably wouldn't want to talk about what was going on in his mind, so I welcomed the silence. And then the elevator came to an abrupt stop, startling us both. I looked at the digital display above the button panel, and it said that we were only on the eighth floor. The doors weren't opening though, so I was only left to assume that the elevator was stuck.

"Shit, are you fucking kidding me?" Jake kicked the doors in a frustrating manner.

I saw a button that said, "Emergency," and pushed it. After a few seconds of nothing happening, a voice spoke from the intercom telling us that they had called maintenance and that it could take up to an hour for them to get the elevator working again.

"Shit." I mumbled as I slid down the wall, and sat on the floor. Jake did the same in his old spot on the back wall. That was all that was said for a little while, and I had leaned my head back against the wall and kept my eyes closed.

Even though I couldn't see him, I felt Jacob watching me. I didn't know why he was doing it, but I felt his eyes on me. And when I opened my eyes to look at him, he would quickly look down at the floor. I didn't really understand it.

"Are you happy with Rachel?" He asked, totally out of left field.

Rachel Black was my imprint as well as his sister, and we had been together for about two years now. She was back at home, since she doesn't really go out much due to the fact that she takes care of their dad. Things were still good between us, but recently, she had been really cold towards me. I had tried asking her what I had done wrong, and she wouldn't tell me anything.

"Well, are you happy with her?" He asked again, still sounding mildly drunk, and I hadn't noticed until now that he had moved closer to me.

"Well…we've been better. I can't say that I'm happy at this time, but I have been happy with Rachel." My eye brows furrowed together as I heard my own words. It was unusual that I was actually able to say that I wasn't happy with my own imprint. Once one imprinted, you were happy just to be around them, so how is it possible that I'm not happy?

"Something wrong?" He asked, while he scooted closer to me, and now there was only a small gap in-between us.

"Uh, no." I mumbled in a low husky whisper. I was starting to feel nervous around him, which was another thing that I didn't understand at the moment.

"Oh, cuz you just looked really…confused." He shrugged, licking his sexy full lips as he looked away from me again.

I simply wrote off my sudden attraction to his lips and closed my eyes again.

I should probably talk to the council about my imprint, and how I am unhappy with Rachel. I wonder if…I'm losing my feelings for my imprint. No way. That's not even possible…is it? This is why I have to talk to the council, to get the answers that I need.

Then I felt his warm breath on my ear, which sent slight shivers of pleasure and surprise throughout my body.

"I have a secret." He whispered into my ear, in a slightly seductive tone. "Do you wanna know what it is?"

I slowly nodded, but didn't dare open my mouth because if I did, I don't know what sound would come out.

"Nobody thinks that I've imprinted," He whispered into my ear again, "but I have."

I turned to look at his face, and my eyes saw a drunken Jacob with a playful smirk on his face. How could I not have known? I'm his pack brother, but then again, Jacob's mind always seemed to be blank whenever we were in our wolf forms; which meant that he had been hiding it for awhile.

"Do you want to know who?" He asked playfully, with the same smirk on his face.

"Yes." I managed to say as I pressed my back against the wall again.

Then he did something that I wasn't expecting _at all_. He was straddling my thighs, and he had his hands on my pecs. I didn't know what to do, I was stunned. But more importantly, I was hard; and so my clothed erection was pressing against Jacob's ass, and I knew he could feel it.

"I imprinted on you." Was all he said before lightly pressed his lips against mine, and held them there for a few seconds before beginning to move his gently against mine. He ran his tongue along my bottom lip and began nibbling on it softly, causing a small husky moan to escape my lips. He pulled away from my mouth, but his smirk was gone. It had been replaced with a look of sad realization.

"It just…sucks. It sucks to have to see you with her every day." He spoke in a sad whisper.

"I'm sorry…I had no idea." I said, trying to comfort him in anyway I could; while at the same time, ignoring the longing feeling that I had for his lips to be against mine again.

"I just wish…I just wish that I had even the slightest chance." He gave a sad smirk, and his breath still slightly smelled like booze, but his body's scent was driving me wild. It was really apple and cinnamon-y.

"I know that it must be painful for you." I spoke sympathetically as I stroked his cheek with one of my hands.

"Please Paul, just give me a chance. I can make you feel better than Rachel ever could." He said in a low seductive whisper, but at the same time it sounded sad.

"Jake…I don't know-" He cut me off mid sentence with another kiss. This time it was more heavy and passionate, and to my surprise, I was kissing him back with almost as much force as he was giving me. This time, I was the one nipping and sucking on his bottom lip, asking…well more like begging, for entrance. He happily obliged with a moan, and I wasted no time before my tongue was invading and exploring his mouth. Each time his tongue would brush against mine, I would moan as rush upon rush of pleasure coursed throughout my body. He began rocking his hips, causing his ass to rub against my raging hard cock. I wanted more. I want to feel myself surrounded by his tight body. I wanted him underneath me, moaning my name from the sheer pleasure that I could give him.

Then the elevator seemed to come back to life with a start, and began moving to the seventeenth floor again. The kissing seemed to slow down, and soon, he pulled away completely, giving me a small sad smile as he stood up. I didn't understand it, like most things that were happening tonight, but I stood as well. I was still hard as fuck, and the jeans that I was wearing had become a bit too tight for my comfort.

The doors finally opened on our floor and we left the elevator to walk down a hallway to our rooms. Jacob was sharing a room with two beds with Jarred, while Leah and Sam shared a one bed room, and so did Quil and Embry. I had my own room. As we reached Jake's room, he pulled his key card out of his back pocket and stood in front of the door.

"Well," He sighed as he fumbled with the card in his hands, "it was nice while it lasted. But I guess now I just have to accept the reality of the situation. You want Rachel, not me. And don't worry, Ill keep our little adventure to myself." He bit his bottom lip as he turned to face the door, and not me.

Why was he saying those things? I thought that we were going to continue things.

I let out a low growl as I grabbed his arm and pulled him a couple doors down to my door, which I hastily unlocked with my card-key.

"Paul, what're you doing?" He asked as I pulled him into the room and shut the self locking door behind me.

I didn't answer his question. Instead I pushed him up against a wall and connected our lips again, trying to revive that same heat and passion that we had in the elevator; which turned out to be a surprisingly easy task. Soon, our tongues were dancing together with the same heat and fervor. I began to unbutton his button-up shirt, and soon I had moved it down his arms and it landed on the floor. I had to break the kiss for a quick second to pull off my shirt, and then our lips collided again. I had my hands on the while on both sides of his head, while his were running up and down my torso. I eventually had to break away for a much needed breath, I moved my kisses down to his neck and began sucking and nibbling on the skin where his neck and shoulder meet. His hands began working with the buttons on my jeans as he let out a loud moan, and not long after that, my pants dropped. I stepped out of them, and kicked them back, away from us. I was left in my boxers, which had a tent from my rock hard boner, and even a small wet circle from the pre-cum. As I continued to suck on Jake's neck, trying to leave a mark to let everyone know that he was somebody's and they couldn't have him, I ran my tongue over the place I had been working on, and Jake let out another loud moan. I pulled back to look at my finished product and saw a large red mark on his perfectly tanned skin, and before I knew it, I was being pushed back against the wall, and Jake was on his knees in front of me.

He kissed the exposed skin that was just above my boxers' waist line, and I let out a low growl like moan to show my approval. He began to slowly pull down my boxers, all the while he was kissing each piece of newly exposed skin until my boxers were past my thighs, then he just let them drop. I stepped out of them and he picked them up and threw them in a random direction.

Then, finally, he gripped my cock with one of his hands and slowly stroked it. He slowly licked the pre-cum that was seeping from my tip and let out a small, "Mmm", noise. He placed light kisses from the base to the tip, and I was going crazy. As if reading my lust filled thoughts, he finally took me in his mouth. He didn't take me all the way for the first couple of times, instead he focused on the head of my cock, twisting his tuck and lapping up any pre cum that had oozed out of the slit. Eventually, he took my whole nine inch length in making a humming noise, which sent pleasure straight to my groin, and I knew that I wouldn't be able to last much longer if he kept this tantalizing mixture of techniques up. My breaths were coming in sharp, and my eyes were cast downward, watching him work his magic on my cock. And in too short of a time, I felt that familiar coil in my stomach, just waiting to burst and push me into release.

"Ah, fuck Jake." I moaned as I buried a hand in his hair, lightly tugging on it. "Ah shit, that feels fucking good." Soon, I could feel the small ounce of restraint that I had slipping away, and I was gonna cum. "Aw, shit, Jake, I'm g-gonna, aw fuck!" I couldn't even finish my sentence before I was shooting my load off white hot seed into his mouth.

He pulled away from my cock and swallowed everything that was in his mouth, and that made me even hornier than before. I pulled him up and brought him to the bed, pushing him back on it, and began to undo his pants and quickly pull them, and his briefs, down. I marveled at the sight of his naked body, there for my taking. His raging hard on was just begging to be pleased, but this was my first time with a guy, so I really wasn't sure how I knew what I should do…but I felt like it would be right in my heart and soul.

I pulled him closer to the edge and kneeled down beside the bed and told him to spread his legs. He did as I asked and that's when my body took over. My tongue stuck out and licked around his puckered hole, and Jake moaned loudly. I continued to lick his entrance in preparation as one of my hands grabbed his cock and began pumping him fiercely. He moans became more erratic after a minute or two of my continuous licking and pumping and soon, I felt him release as his muscles tightened and he shot his load over his stomach and my hand.

He was ready. So I stood up and got on top of him on the bed, and used whatever he had left on my hand to lube my, once again, hard cock and placed my head at his entrance.

"Are you ready?" I asked as I kissed his neck.

"Y-yes." He stuttered through his heavy panting.

I slowly began pushing in as I captured his lips once more, letting out a low growl of sheer pleasure. Once I was fully inside him, I came to a stand still, allowing him to adjust to my size. We were still kissing when I started my slow thrusts. Jake moaned into the kiss as minutes passed, and soon he was begging for more.

"Oh Paul…faster." He had moaned.

"What do you want?" I asked, in a teasing manner, getting my revenge for how he had teased me with his tongue earlier.

"Paul…p-please go faster?" He had begged, and I smiled as my thrusts became faster, but I was careful not to be too rough until he asked for it.

"Oooh, Paul…please go faster." He begged, and once again, I happily obliged as I pulled almost all the way out and slamming back into him, earning a loud moan of approval. Things kept up like this for God knows how long. We both had sweat beads on our body as we continued to move, kiss, thrust, and stroke. I had managed to get Jacob to cum at least two more times since the first time, and I was determined to make it three times before I came. I was pumping him furiously as I thrust, hard and fast, into his awaiting heat. We had switched positions, and Jacob was now on all fours, while I was behind him on my knees.

"Oh, fuck. Do you like that Jake?" I asked, as I thrust into him.

"Ah, fuck yes. Mm, it's so good." He moaned, pulling me closer and closer to the edge with each word. I could feel him tensing up though, and I knew that it wouldn't be long before…or right now. I had gotten him to cum three times, and right now he just shot his load into my hand again and all over the sheets. I don't know how he could still be shooting that much after three times, but now it was finally my time to let myself reach ecstasy. I only lasted for a few more thrusts before I released inside of him.

I, kind of unwillingly, pulled out of him and collapsed onto the bed, next to him. Jake had moved so that his head was on my chest, and he kissed it softly.

"Thank you." He whispered.

"For what?" I asked again, seeming to get a case of déjà vu.

"For giving me a chance…I hope that you see how good I could be for you." He spoke in the same low whisper.

"I do. And its weird…before this…I always thought that I would be with Rachel forever. But now…it's like I never knew myself. Shit, I'm not myself tonight. I don't know what it is, but there is definitely something here." I noted the chemistry that we had, "But I don't know if I can go against my imprint Jake…so I don't know."

He let out an, obviously, unhappy sigh, "Well then just for tonight…don't be yourself. Be this guy right here…and be with me tonight." He said in an almost pleading, and begging voice.

I wrapped my arms around him too hold him closer to my body, "Okay."

I really wasn't acting like myself…at all. But I didn't mind. He was right; he had made me feel better than Rachel had. I loved it. But now I am left too wonder…is this something I could pursue?

**I'm out of character  
I'm in rare form  
and If you really knew me  
you'd know its not the norm**

**Cause I'm doing things that I normally won't do  
the old me's gone I feel brand new  
and if you don't like it fuck you**

**The music's on and I'm dancing  
I'm normally in the corner just standing  
I'm feeling unusual  
I don't care cause this is my night**

**I'm not myself tonight  
tonight I'm not the same girl same girl**

**I'm not myself tonight  
tonight I'm not the same girl same girl**

**I'm dancing a lot and I'm taking shots I'm feeling fine  
I'm kissing all the boys and the girls  
someone call the doctor cause I lost my mind**

**Cause I'm doing things that I normally won't do  
the old me's gone I feel brand new  
and if you don't like it fuck you**

**The music's on and I'm dancing  
I'm normally in the corner just standing  
I'm feeling unusual  
I don't care cause this is my night**

**I'm not myself tonight**

**-Christina Aguilera**

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**A/N: How was it? Was it good? I kinda want to make it a full story…I don't know. What do you guys think? Is it continue worthy?**

**But yes! Happy Anniversary GoinnGaGa! Ahahaha don't forget to review and tell me what you think! I used the Christina Aguilera song for the title of this story! Thank you all so much! Love ya for reading!**

**oxox**

**GoinnGaGa**


	2. Tell Me Lies

**Not Myself Tonight**

**A/N: Heyy! Well, I have decided, to make this a Mini-Fic, with about...5-7 chapters! Ahaha, I hope it is good! And, here is chapter 2, Tell Me Lies. Um...yeah. So...just read...let me know what you think...ya know...the usual! Oh yeah, and it is an Ashley Tisdale song. Gotta love her. Ahaha  
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**Disclaimer: Don't own shiet!**

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**Tell Me Lies**

**Paul's POV**

I was expecting this morning to be awkward, but it wasn't. In fact, I woke up alone this morning. As I showered and got dressed, I had began thinking that it was all a dream. And then when I finally saw Jake, while Sam was checking us out of the hotel, he was acting like nothing happened. Right now, we were all deciding who would drive with who since there were two many of us to fit in one car. Sam had driven his jeep, and Quil brought his Toyota Camry. This was my chance to talk to Jake without anyone noticing.

"Hey," I nudged him with my elbow to get his attention, "did I do something wrong last night?"

The rest of the pack was a bit ahead of us, while Jake and I were kinda separated from then in the back.

"Um, no." He looked confused.

"Then why are you acting like that?" I asked in a low, frustrated whisper.

"Acting like what?" He asked as he cocked his head to the side, making him look cute and innocent.

"Like nothing happened between us!" My voice was starting to rise a bit.

"Well..." He looked a bit more confused than before, "isn't that what you wanted?"

"Well...I don't know! Just stay near me." I growled with small frustration before just grabbing his arm and pulling him over to Quil's car, "We'll ride with Quil and Embry." I said as I grabbed Jake's overnight bag and put it in the trunk, along with mine and Quil and Embry's bag. I closed the trunk and got into the backseat with Jake.

"So what do you want?" He asked in a low whisper before Quil and Embry occupied the driver, and passenger's seats.

"Alright guys, let's get going!" Quil said enthusiastically.

The ride was very quiet. The whole time, I was thinking about Jake's question. What do I want? I want him...but at the same time I want Rachel. But, you can't have your cake and eat it too. I just can't believe how confusing things got over the course of one night. I had never considered myself as gay, or even bi. Before Jake, there had only been girls. And then I laid my eyes on Rachel Black, and I thought that she would be the love of my life, for the rest of my life. I was not expecting to be imprinted on by her younger brother, Jacob Black. Within one night, he changed my whole way of thinking. I shifted my gaze from the window, to Embry and Quil's hands, which were interlaced and sat on top of the thing in-between the two front seats. Just sitting in the same care as them, one could feel the love that they felt for each other. I began wondering if I could ever be like that with Jake.

Just as his name crossed my mind, I felt something press against my side. I turned to see Jake leaning across the seat, leaning into my side, fast asleep. The sight brought a smile to my lips. I let myself drape an arm around his shoulders and hold him lightly as he slept. Normally, this would be so wrong and I would push him away from me; but now, this seemed so right and natural. There was this animalistic feeling inside of me, like my wolf was becoming possessive of Jake. I let my eyes wander his sleeping form, or at least what I could see from this angle. His head shifted a bit, and my eyes were immediately drawn to the big red love mark on his neck. A wide, satisfied smirk graced my face as I remembered how I had marked him as mine.

Then I began to frown as I realized that we were almost home. It only deepened when I remembered that Rachel was going to be at the Black residence. I hadn't even began thinking about what I was going to tell her, or if I would even tell her anything at all. I couldn't really focus on anything other than Jake for the whole car ride. and before I could even realized what was happening, we were pulled into the Black family's driveway. I quickly removed my arm and gently shook Jacob awake.

"Jake, wake up. We havta get out so Embry and Quil can begin eating each other's faces again." I joked, and the small snickers that they both let out let me know that I was probably right.

He let out a low groan as he slowly sat up straight and began wiping the sleep from his eyes, causing me to wish that I had been able to see that this morning.

"Thanks for the ride guys." He spoke softly as he opened the car door.

"Yeah, thanks guys. See ya tomorrow at the meeting." I patted Quil on the shoulder before I got out of the car. I quickly moved to the back of the car and, Quil popped the trunk from inside, and I grabbed both mine and Jake's bags. Jake closed the trunk and we began walking to the front door.

I could practically feel his spirits drop when he opened the door and stepped inside. I dropped our bags by the entrance and was almost immediately ambushed by Rachel Black as she jumped up and wrapped her arms around my neck, smashing her lips against mine. The action only caused my confusion to increase because her lips didn't feel the same as they had before last night. I mean, her kissing still felt pretty good, and then my body was still reacting...but it just wasn't the same.

I placed her back down on her feet and we pulled away from each other a bit. Her deep chocolate eyes, reminded me of Jake's. Her long silky black hair still felt the same as it had before. Her perfect tan skin color was just as golden as I remember. She gave me one more quick peck on the lips before we both let go of each other. She turned around and hugged Jake tightly. I watched him try to mask his pained expression, but things weren't working out for him.

"Oh my God, Jake what happened to your neck?" She asked as she gently touched my mark on his neck.

His eyes quickly shifted to meet mine, but went back to his sister. "Um...it was someone from the club. We just got a little hot and heavy. She was a babe." He smirked.

A low growl emitted from me, which I tried my hardest to muffle with a cough, but I couldn't help but feel angry at the lie that he told.

"Oh yeah? Well good for you lil bro." She patted his chest before turning back to me, "As for you Mr. Meraz. I was incredibly lonely without you." She said in a low seductive whisper.

"Well guys, I'm a little tired so I'm just gonna go get some sleep." He went off in the direction of a small hallway and then shut his door.

Rachel and I continued to kiss for a little bit, in the same spot. I tried to stay focused on the beautiful woman in my arms, but my mind kept wandering back to Jake. My body had stopped reacting, in fact, my _reaction_ was completely gone. I kept trying to focus, until eventually I just gave in and broke away from her, separating from her completely. I went to pick up Jake's bag and told her that I would go see if Jake was feeling okay because he seemed kind of sick earlier. A pretty good excuse if you ask me. I had to restrain myself from practically running to his room, but I eventually got there and quickly stepped inside and closed the door behind me.

"Paul, what're you-" He began asking confused. He was standing, shirtless, and I felt my pants grow a bit tighter. So, instead of letting him finish, I cut him off as I dropped his bag on the floor and pushed him up against the nearest wall, pinning his hands above his head. I wasted no time before I smashed my lips to his with hot wanton passion and fervor.

I pressed my body up against his, showing him how he affected me with even just the simplest look. I could feel his own hard-on press against my body, and began bucking my hips ever so slightly, causing the sweetest, yet slight, friction between us, bringing a moan from the both of us. I moved my lips away from his, and began leaving a trail of soft, sweet kisses along his jaw and down his neck until I found my mark and left one final kiss before I pulled away, causing a low whimper to escape from Jake's lips.

"Why did you say that?" I asked in a low, deep and husky, whisper. "Why did you lie about my mark?" I ran my thumb over the spot, and Jake took his bottom lip in-between his teeth.

"I was going to wait for you to tell me that it was okay..." He trailed off into a small, and weak whisper as he watched my tongue sweep it's way across my lips.

"Well from now on, whenever people ask you about a mark, because there will be more in the future, you say that you can't remember what happened. Alright?" I tried to sound controlling and in command, but my voice betrayed me when I sounded caring and lusting instead.

He slowly nodded, silently accepting my rule. "Okay then, I'm gonna go home." I looked at my wrist watch and saw that it was nearly six in the afternoon. The drive really did last longer than I thought it had. "I want you to be at my house at ten ten o'clock tonight." I lowered my lips to his for one more, passionate, yet quick kiss before releasing his hands, "I'll be waiting for you babe."

He seemed to be starstruck by the word, and I let a cocky smirk cross my lips as I captured his one last time before turning and leaving the room. I had to stay in the hallway for a bit to try and will my hard-on away, before I traveled to the kitchen and found Rachel placing a glass of juice on a tray that already had food on it. I figured that it was for Billy, so I moved out of the way as she carried the tray off towards his room. Billy Black didn't like the fact that Rachel and I were together, and he was furious when he had found out that I imprinted on her. One would think that he would've gotten over it after two years, but nope. He was still the same as he had been from day one.

"So," Rachel spoke as she re-entered the kitchen, "how was it? Were they a bunch of girls trying to get with you?"

No, only your brother.

"No, there wasn't any of that happening. I just hung out with your brother for most of the night." Which wasn't a complete lie since we really did spend most of the night together...we just weren't in the club.

"Oh that's good. But now it's my turn to spend some quality time with you." She smiled as she grabbed my hand and led me back to her room. We kissed the whole way, and once we got into the room, and onto the bed, I was completley at ease, and relaxed...but once it was over...I couldn't help but compare her to Jake. And much to my dismay, he was better. Now that I think about it, Rachel has _never_ given me a blow job; and Jake did it the first time that we were together. And so, curiosity over took me.

"Why haven't you ever blown me before?" the words slipped out of my mouth before I could think of a nicer way to ask.

"Um..." Was her first response, "well, I don't know. You've never asked."

"Well...would you do it if I had asked?"

"Probably not." She sat up in the bed, covering herself with her white sheet.

"Why not?" I continued with the questions as I did the same, but let the sheet rest on my waist line.

"Well...what's in it for me? Nothing. I don't get any pleasure from it...so why would I do it?"

* * *

_Well...what's in it for me?_

Those words had rung throughout my mind for the past hour. So Rachel was a selfish lover, I had known that before...so why did it hurt me when I realized that she didn't care to please me? I mean, my reason for living was to please her in any way that I possibly can, but she couldn't be bothered to return the favor? And then Jake...Jake would do anything to please me, because I'm his imprint.

Ugh, shit, I really need to figure this shit out. I can't keep this up. The more time that I spend with Rachel, the more I hurt Jacob. The longer I stay with Jacob, the worse things will get for Rachel and I.

I had decided to go and talk to Sam before I go to the council, to see if he knew anything that could possibly help me with my current situation. To be completely honest, I was kind of scared of how the council will react. I'm not really worried about the whole, gay thing, because they fully support Quil and Embry's relationship. I was more afraid of the fact that I am basically betraying the tribes tradition by cheating on my imprint. The council, as well as majority of the citizens La Push, take tradition very seriously.

I was in my wolf form, running to Sam and Emily's house right now; and thankfully I was the only one that was phased. I was alone with my thoughts, and I was grateful for that fact. I let my mind wander to Jacob, and the way he looked as his face was twisted in pleasure underneath mine. I wanted to just...be able to be there for him and give him everything that he wants, but at the same time, I want to be there for Rachel too. UGH! I'm so fucking confused!

As I got closer to Sam's house, I phased back and pulled on the shorts that were tied around my leg. I came out of the trees and went to knock on Sam's door.

"Paul, what's up?" Sam answered the door with a friendly smile gracing his features.

"Sam, do you think I can tell you something...and you can like, keep it a secret or something?" I rubbed the back of my neck with one hand, while the other was shoved in my pocket.

"Of course, come on inside." He waved me into the house as he stepped aside, allowing me to fully enter his house, closing the door behind me. He led me to the dining table and sat down in the seat across from the one that I sat at. "So, what's on your mind?"

"Um, well..." I didn't really know how to say it any other way but bluntly, "is it possible to cheat on an imprint?"

He looked a bit...taken back by my question, "Well...there were very rare cases in our pack's history where a pack member has...uh, how do I put this...re-imprinted. So, in these cases...if I remember correctly, they would still have feeling for their first imprint, but the new imprint would eventually grow stronger." He gave me a look that seemed to ask if I was still following along. "So, they would naturally leave their first imprint to be with their new one. But there were complications in some cases."

This seemed to pique my curiosity, "Complications?"

"Well, the council members that were in charge during a few of these times saw this as betrayal to the tribe's traditions, so the re-imprinter was banished from La Push."

Shit, that's exactly what I was afraid of. Fuck, and now that I know that my feelings for Jake will only grow stronger as time goes on, this was going to be an inevitable factor of the future. But at least now I know what to be prepared for when that time comes. Maybe I should just, up and leave without telling anybody. Jake would come with me, and we would be able to build a happy life together.

"Paul...is there something else that you wanna tell me?" He asked suspiciously.

"Sam," I looked at him, my usual calm, cool, hot-headed facade was faltering as worry took it's place, "I cheated on Rachel...with Jacob."

A look of shock seemed to cross his features before he quickly composed himself, "Well, are you going to tell them?"

"Jake knows. He...well he imprinted on me. So, he really wants me to be with him, ya know?"

Sam slowly nodded, taking in this new piece of information, "But Rachel has no idea?" I shook my head, "Well, maybe you should wait. Just for a few days, and then tell her. Maybe...maybe this is just a phase." He sounded hopeful, as if he wanted that to be the truth.

I didn't. I wanted Jacob.

"Alright." I lifted my eyes from the table-top to meet his gaze, "Are you going to tell the pack?"

He shook his head, "I'll wait until you and Jake are ready to tell them."

"Okay...thanks a lot Sam." I smiled at him, and he returned it as I stood up from the table, "Well...I think I'm just gonna go back home."

"Alright, and come back anytime, maybe bring Jake next time. It would be better to talk about it with the both of you." He walked me to the door and held it open, "Don't forget the meeting tomorrow!" He shouted out to me as I walked into the trees to phase.

It wouldn't be much longer until I would be able to see Jacob again...not that long.

* * *

**Jake's POV**

Almost ten. I should probably get going so that I'm not late. I would probably be running fast too, so I might even be early. I didn't mind being early, that just means that I would get to see Paul sooner. And everyone in my house was busy so getting out of the house should be easy. I was already dressed in some jean cut-offs, and I was simply waiting for the right time to roll around before I make my great escape. And why would I have to sneak out, or escape? Because for some reason, Rachel had gotten it in her head that I was sick, so she didn't want me leaving the house for the rest of the night.

I slowly opened my bedroom door and checked both ways before creeping out into the hallway. Then I crept down the stairs, trying to make as little noise as possible as I stepped off of the last step. Then I heard the hushed whispers...

"Stop! At least wait a little while longer!" It was Rachel speaking, "Jake is upstairs, and he might hear us!"

"Nah, that little runt won't hear shit, if _somebody _would keep their moaning down low!" I hear...Jarred's voice spoke next. "Let's just do it...c'mon, just a little quickie!"

"Jarred! Oh my God, you're way to energetic! I think you want it more than Paul." She giggled.

Then I heard something that made my heart drop.

Kisses, moans, and groans.

Rachel was cheating on Paul.

**It's in your eyes, feelings can't be disguised**

**Cause the truth makes me want you to tell me lies**

**My biggest fear is crying oceans of tears**

**I would rather you not be so sincere**

**How cold could you be?**

**What would you do if you were me?**

**I'm better off if it's a mystery**

**Cause I don't wanna know**

**If I kissed your lips for the last time**

**Please don't say if it's so**

**Tell my heart it's not goodbye**

**And do this one thing for me**

**Make up some stupid story tonight**

**It's alright, keep your truth and tell me lies**

**Something's not right, love is nowhere in sight**

**I'm not ready to let go, it's not time**

**How cruel could you be?**

**Do say it's through least not to me**

**I'm better off, leave it a mystery**

**-Ashley Tisdale**

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**A/N: Soooo, how was it! I threw in some drama there. Ahahaha, is it good enough to continue? Let me know! I'll update again if I get enough reviews...**

**Notoriously Yours,**

**GoinnGaGa  
**


	3. Crazy For You

**Not Myself Tonight**

**A/N: OH! Hahaha I finally found my inspiration for this story again! And so, I hope that I still have some people following this story! A lot of people had been reviewing for the past two chapters, like 30 per chapter. Crazy. Hahaha so I just want to say thank you to all those reviewers, this is for you guys! Uhm…OH! I recently finished my story, "Your Love's A Drug" and I would love it if you guys could go and read that story! OH! And if you haven't already, please go and read Can't Be Tamed, which is my first Paul/Seth story! And also Love Me Senseless, which is my first Seth/Emmett story! Hahaha and I hope you enjoy this! Oh, and I used "Crazy For You" by Madonna, for this chapter. I don't know why…I think it just fit. Hahaha **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything**

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**Crazy For You**

My knee bounced eagerly as I sat on my couch, and eventually I just got up and walked into the kitchen. My eyes began to frantically scan every inch of the area, trying to detect any possible flaws that would be visible. After traveling throughout the house, repeating the quick once-over in every room, I fell back onto the couch. After I left Sam's house earlier, I had to run my usual three hour patrol before I could come back to my house. I got here at a little past nine at night, so I had an hour to kill before Jake would arrive here at ten as I had told him to. When I got here though, I was horrified to be met by the usual mess that I left. The kitchen sink was filled with unwashed dishes, there was a bunch of trash scattered around the living room which consisted of magazines, wrappers of various snacks, and pizza boxes. My bedroom floor was completely covered by laundry which needed to be done, or was just thrown on the floor after I washed it because I got lazy. Both of the bathrooms in my house were relatively clean…sort of. I had to throw a scented candle in there and pick up some more clothes, dump the trash, and wipe down the sink. I went into a cleaning frenzy, trying to get everything perfect. I even washed all of my bed's sheets, blankets and pillowcases. There was still however, much more laundry to do. But other than that, the house was left smelling like the various candles that I had placed everywhere. That reminds me, I really should thank Emily for giving me all of those candles; I'll just leave out the fact that I'm using them for Jacob, and not his sister.

But sitting here, anxiously awaiting Jake's arrival, I was trying to think of anything that I could have forgotten to clean during my frenzy. I was so nervous that he wouldn't like my house. He'd never been here before, nobody really has. I loved my privacy, and everyone had respected that. The only people that had been here were Sam and Jared, but that's because they're my best friends. Rachel hadn't even been here, but that was her choice because she said that I was a slob. Romantic right? I know. But that's in the past. She's in the past.

At the thought of Rachel being my past while Jake would be my present, I let myself dwell on what Sam had told me.

Basically, Jacob Black was my new imprint. He was the new soul mate that my wolf had chosen…but what made my wolf change its mind in the first place? I mean, Jake's wolf had chosen me from the start, I'm pretty sure that he hasn't re-imprinted. Sam said that re-imprinting was very rare. So, what made my wolf change his mind?

I didn't have time to dwell on the thoughts any longer as three knocks pulled me out of my self-questionnaire. I got up and quickly looked around the living room to make sure that everything was just as perfect as it was a few minutes ago. I took in a deep breath before pulling the door open and revealing Jake. He was standing there shirtless wearing only some jean cut-offs and some old sneakers. His torso was covered in a light sheen of sweat that glistened slightly thanks to my porch light. He had this amazingly cute nervous expression on his face with his bottom lip stuck in-between his teeth.

I reached out and grabbed his hips, and pulled him up against my body with a sly smirk, "Hey babe." I gently pressed our lips together and smiled when I felt him relax.

"H-Hi." He mumbled once I began to pull him into the house.

"Well, this is my house." I said with a smile as I brought him to sit with me on the couch. "What do you think?"

"I think…it's nice. I wasn't expecting it to be so clean, or for it to smell so nice." He said with a small blush.

I tapped my thigh with my hand a few times, trying to think to what to say or do with him, and then it hits me. "Are you hungry?" I looked at him curiously, awaiting his response.

"Uhm…yeah, a little." He admits bashfully, which I find turns me on.

"Okay!" I smile happily as I get up, and pull him up by the hand to follow me to the kitchen, but then I remembered that I didn't clean out the fridge, and God knows what we might find in there. "How about we order a pizza?"

"Okay." He finally smiles, which makes my heart soar because I know that it's me that put that smile there.

The pizza arrives and we eat in a strange silence that I don't really like. But when he finally does talk, I don't really like what he says.

"Paul…what are we doing?" He asks out of nowhere, drawing my gaze away from the TV screen and to his concerned face.

"Uh, eating?" I answered cautiously and questioningly, as though I was asking him if that was the right answer.

"No, I mean…what are we doing here? Are we messing around? Are we going to be something serious? Am I just…someone that you're gonna fuck whenever you feel like it…or what?"

"Oh." I put down the slice that I was currently eating and turned off the TV to give him my full attention, "About that…I went to talk to Sam about whats happening with us and learned something that could possibly change everything. So I'm just going to say it…Jacob Black, I've imprinted on you."

The way his lips parted caused my groin to stir, "Wh-What? How?"

I smiled and brought one of my hands up to caress his cheek while the other lightly gripped his hand, "Sam said that it's called re-imprinting. Like my wolf figured out who his _real _soul mate was. And my wolf decided that it was you. So, no we aren't just messing around, and no you aren't just someone that I will fuck whenever I want. I want to be something serious, I want a relationship. And I think that you want the same…am I right?"

"Well, yeah; but what about Rachel?"

"What about Rachel?" I say with a small smirk, but he obviously didn't like what I said, "I'll just…ya know, spend all my time with you. And when we're ready to let everyone know about it, we will drop the news to the pack first and then I'll be the one who tells Rachel. We're just going to take things slow, alright?"

"Okay." He nods his head before moving himself to straddle my lap, leaving our faces only an inch or two apart with his sweet hot breath ghosting onto my face, "I've been wanting to do this all day."

"Oh yeah?" I ask as if I don't believe him, but I know damn well that it's true because I've been wanting to do all sorts of things to him ever since I told him to come to my house earlier.

He didn't reply he simply closed the small gap in-between our lips bringing groans from both of us. It started out slow and was quick to become heavy and fast. Our lips were moving as if we were both desperate for the passion and emotion that would be displayed in this kiss. I gently bit down on his bottom lip, silently begging him to let me in, and when he did so I was quick to let my tongue delve deep into his hot moist cavern. As our tongues brushed against each other, both of us groaned into the kiss once again. There was this special taste in his mouth that was special to his mouth, and I couldn't get enough of it. He began rocking his hips, causing his ass to rub against my clothed erection. I had to pull away to take in a gasp of air as well as let out a long and loud moan.

"I think," He began to say as he continued his rocking motions, "that you're wearing too much clothing."

"Mmm," I groan as I let my head fall back against the couch for a quick second before bringing it upright again to look at him through hooded eyes, "and what do you want to do about that?"

"Well, why don't I start with this?" He says with a coy smile as he gently tugs on my t-shirt. "Arms up." He says with a chuckle. I smile as I raise my arms and he slowly pulls my shirt up until it was thrown off next to us on the couch. His rocking slowed down as he gazed down at my now bare chest with such lust and desire.

"Like what ya see?" I ask with a cocky smirk as a blush fills my new imprint's features. "You look cute like that babe; I should make you blush more often." I smile wider as he turns an even deeper shade of red than he already was. And then I get struck with an idea that I think would really be worth trying out tonight. "Hey babe, c'mon, let's goes to my bed yeah?"

"Okay." He smiled again as he got off of my lap and stood in front of me, waiting for me to join him on my feet.

Standing up, I wrapped an arm around his waist and began leading him to my bedroom. For some reason, nerves began to root themselves inside of me as I opened the door and led him to the bed.

"Oh shit! Uh, wait here and just…get comfortable!" I told him before running out of the room and back to the living room where I started blowing out every candle, then moving to the kitchen and eventually the bathroom before finally getting back to the room; panting slightly. "Forgot about the candles." I explained with a chuckle as I went back to the bed, which he was now laying on wrapped in the covers.

"You have candles everywhere in this house." He noted with a small smile as he looked around to count the candles that gave off the dim lighting that we had in here. I refused to turn on the light because I felt as though the candles gave off a slightly more romantic feeling, "There are even four in here."

Another smirk tugged at my lips, but this time it was tinged with embarrassment, "Please don't ask why." I chuckled, rubbing the back of my neck, "It's really cheesy."

He smiled as he scooted further to the center of the bed and pats the right side of it, "Tell me."

The invitation to be next to him in a bed, even though it was my own, sent a rush of adrenaline through my veins as I walked to the side of the bed but stopped before getting on the take off my jeans. I decided to wear boxers today, just in case Jake would've wanted to go out tonight for anything, so that's what I climbed under the blankets wearing. We were both still sitting up, with the quilt and sheet stopping at our bent waist lines.

"All the candles are here because I was trying to uh…get the house to smell nice for you." I admit to him with a slightly embarrassed and nervous blush growing on my cheeks.

"Oh, so it was for me, huh?" He asks playfully before he leans in to gently press his lips against mine, only for a quick second before he pulls back about an inch, "Ya know, you look pretty good with a blush too. Maybe I should try to make you blush more often as well." He chuckled before closing the gap again, this time holding his lips there to let the kiss last and grow.

My inner wolf was practically foaming at the mouth with lust that had grown inside him along with the strong urge to claim Jacob as mine once more. But I couldn't do that, or at least not tonight. Tonight I needed to find out if we would be able to do something important to me; something that Rachel really didn't care for.

I broke the kiss with a smile, even though I was shouting at myself on the inside, and moved to fully lie down on the bed, "Lay down babe." I told him, patting the pillow next to the one that I was using.

He did so, with a slightly confused expression on his face, and once he was laying down facing me he asked, "Did I do something wrong?"

My brows furrowed together in frustration that was only directed towards myself, "No. I just…I just want to lay with you tonight." When his confusion only seemed to deepen I went on, "Look, we already know that we have and amazing physical connection and the sex we have is…amazing; but we can't just focus on the physical stuff, right? We have to build an emotional connection as well, and it has to be our own; not just the imprint's feelings. I want to be able to have these special nights where I just…wrap you in my arms and hold you close." I say as I do exactly the same thing, pulling him close to my body and leaving our faces an inch or two apart. "I want to run my hands up and down your back and listen to you talk, and tell me about your day, your life…while you tell me about _you._" My voice lowers into a deep whisper as I shift our bodies a bit so that I'm slightly on top of him but not really. I kiss his neck gently, and kiss my way up to his ear, "I want to know everything about you Jacob. I want to be the person that you come to for anything and everything."

I feel a shudder course through his body and pull away slightly and shift us again so that his head would be resting on my chest, "I want to be able to rely on our emotional connection as well as our physical connection, ya know?"

"Oh, I understand." He announced as he began to use his finger to trace random shapes on my chest. "So, how did you want to start this emotional connection?"

"Well…I don't know." The sad confession brought out a small chuckle from his lips, "But it would start out with the little things that I would do for you. Like I would hold you until you started to fall asleep; and when I see you dozing off, I would kiss you and say 'goodnight babe'. And then I would wake up in the morning and see you in bed with me and smile; and then kiss you and say 'good morning babe'. We would sleep in together, but I would eventually wake up first so that I could attempt to make you something for breakfast and serve it to you in bed. Then after we take a nice shower together, we would just go and do whatever you wanted to do. And then we would come home, and we would decide what to eat for dinner, and before we go to bed…we'd make love. And that'd be it."

"I like how you started out by naming off some things, and then went into planning our days." He chuckled, and I felt his smile form against my chest. Then he yawned, and it was my turn to smile as I brought his lips up to mine and kissed him gently.

"Goodnight babe."

I used his soft, even, breathing as my own personal lullaby.

I don't know how long I had been asleep, or what time it is now, but there's movement on the bed. My eyes slowly began to open and found that Jake was awake and sitting up in bed.

I sat up to, and kissed his cheek, "Good morning babe." I mumbled sleepily. I looked over towards my blinds and found that there was no sunlight seeping in, "What time is it?"

"Six in the morning." He answered as he turned to smile at me, "I'm sorry that I woke you up, but I have to go."

My brows furrowed as I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him back down into the laying position, "Nope. You're staying in bed because we're supposed to be sleeping in together, remember?" I smile as I begin to nuzzle his neck.

"Paul!" He began to protest with a chuckle as he tried to free himself from my tight grasp. "I have to run patrols!"

I slumped back against the bed as I unwrapped him from my arms and brought my hands up to run over my face. Then an idea popped into my mind, for what seemed like the millionth time in the past 24-hours. "Who are you running with?"

"Sam and Seth." He tells me and I feel myself relax.

"You know what babe; I'll run it for you." I could see that he was about to protest so I silenced him with a kiss and smiled, "Don't worry about it. I want you to stay here and get some more sleep." I kissed him again, but this time it lasted longer and there was more passion in it. "I'll be back in a few hours."

I was still tired as I jogged towards the forest, which was everywhere in La Push, and took off the boxers that I had slept in and tied them around my ankle with a black cord that I had grabbed before leaving the house. Phasing and beginning my run towards Sam's house, I continued to dwell on the fact that I so desperately wanted to sleep more. This was the reason why I always asked for the night patrols, because I get to sleep during the morning. But it didn't matter to me right now because I know that I'm doing this for Jake and I'm giving him the chance to get some extra sleep. Getting closer to Sam's house, I stopped when I saw a big brown wolf and a small sandy colored one.

_Paul?_ Sam's thoughts rang in my mind. _Why are you here?_

_I'm gonna be running Jake's patrols today. _I told him, trying my best to block off any thoughts about my re-imprinting from Seth. As far as I could tell, we were the only three that were phased at the moment. Hell, we were probably the only three awake!

_Aw! I was ready to show Jake how fast I can run!_ Seth whined with a whimper from his muzzle. Seth was like a little brother to Jake, and he had been showing Seth the ropes of being a wolf. Seth was still a pup since he has only been a wolf for about four or five months, so he was still trying to reach his full potential.

_Whatever, _Sam huffed before standing up on all fours; _Let's just get this over with._

The run was quiet, with the exception of Seth's strange and completely random thoughts. It was kinda like this…

_I wonder what he's doing right now._

Pause.

_I wonder if he misses me like I miss him._

Pause.

_His lips were so soft! I wonder how big his-_

_Seth! Shut the fuck up! _I shouted, not really wanting him to finish that sentence while I'm listening.

_Paul! Be nice, he's still a pup!_ Sam scolded me as we continued running, huffing to myself as I continued to block off any thoughts of Jake from my mind.

Four and a half hours later, I was finally walking back into the house. I wasn't surprised when I found Jake sitting on the couch watching TV rather than sleeping still. I kissed him quickly before I collapsed into a laying position on the couch, sprawling out and resting my head on his lap.

"Hey, what took you so long?" He asked curiously as he smiled down at me.

"Well, just when we were getting ready to finish up and head on home; Seth catches a whiff of some fucking bloodsucker! So we spend like a fucking hour chasing the bastard and then he puts up a pretty good fight for a while until all three of us are finally together to gang up on him." I sigh, "And I'm so tired!"

"Then sleep!" He chuckles as he begins to gently run his fingers through my short cropped hair.

"Hm…that feels nice babe." I breathe out as I let my eyes close.

"Get some sleep Paul; we have a meeting later so you'll need some rest." He reminds me of the meeting just before I finally drift off into sleep.

* * *

**Jacob's POV**

The meeting was just about over, and so all the guys were messing around while Sam was talking to Paul about something in private. Some official Alpha-Beta business I assumed.

Seth was all giddy, telling me about how he helped Paul fight off the vamp until Sam came and finished the job. The kid was so animated and excited, even though it was almost a near death experience had Paul not be so close when he ran into the vamp.

Paul and I had to act as we would have before the whole re-imprinting business, but we still stole some lust-filled glances towards one-another when people weren't looking.

"Ey Jake!" Someone called out and I looked up to see Jared holding a football and smiling at me.

I felt kind of awkward being around him since I know what I know. I still hadn't told Paul, and decided that I won't since he is already going to be leaving Rachel in the first place. But I still had to act like I was okay with Jared…for now.

"Catch!" He said as he got his arm ready to throw the ball.

Before I could refuse, the ball was in the air. Now, if I could, I would catch it. But the thing is Seth chose this time to run over to Leah to talk to her about his experience; which led to him bumping into me, which made me lose my balance. Me. No balance. And a ball in the air. Needless to say, it hit me in the face, causing me to fall backwards. I heard laughter and some claps, which I assumed were caused by high-fives.

"What the fuck!" A loud growl ripped through, silencing everybody's laughter.

"Paul, man you shoulda-" Jared's sentence went unfinished as I heard a crunch and a thump, "Paul! What the fuck man!"

Finally feeling comfortable enough, I began to sit up. A pair of strong hands pulled me into an upright sitting position, and I opened my eyes to see a trembling Paul was the one holding me.

"Are you alright?" He ground out through clenched teeth.

"Yeah." I answered with a nod as he helped me up to my feet. I felt a little woozy, and began swaying a bit before Paul stilled me.

"Babe, seriously, are you sure you're okay?" He asked with more concern, seeming to have let go of some of his anger.

"Yes Paul, I'm fine; just a little disoriented, that's all."

Someone cleared their throat and we saw Sam nod his head towards everyone else. Paul turned around and I looked past him to find that everyone was staring at us with confusion.

"Well, I guess there's no use in hiding it anymore right?" Paul said with a small smile as he leaned forward to kiss me.

He turned around to face everyone, and during the whole time that he spent explaining to everyone what had happened; I discretely focused on Jared who kept a blank expression on his face the whole time.

That's what scared me the most.

* * *

**A Month and Six Days Later…**

Things were great!

The pack knew about us and accepted us, or rather didn't really care. Jared hadn't really done anything, but he had been acting really weird ever since we told the pack. I still had to tell my dad, and Rebecca, while Paul had to tell Rachel. We decided to procrastinate for the time being until we felt it absolutely necessary to tell her. I wanted to tell my dad, but Paul wants Rachel to be the first person outside of the pack to know.

_UGH! Can you please keep your memories of last night to yourself! My little brother can see them! _Leah demanded as we ran our patrols.

If I were a human, I'd be blushing right now. I didn't mean to start thinking about Paul and I fucking, but it just happened.

_I don't mind._ Seth chimed in innocently from wherever he was.

_Ew! No Seth! That's not okay!_

I let out a wolf laugh, which basically sounded like me panting or huffing.

_Alright guys, that's it for today. You can all go home now! _Sam informed us as he phased to tell us that we were done.

_Thanks!_ We all said in unison.

Moving as fast as my russet paws would take me, I rushed to get to Paul's house.

I had been staying there practically every day for the past month. He wanted me there, which made me happy. I love being with him. Hell, I love _him_.

I recognized this part of the forest, and chose now to phase back. Pulling on my cut-offs and walking out of the forest, I looked up at the moonlit sky. Paul was right, the night patrols really were better. As I got closer to the front door, someone's scent other than Paul was here. _Someone_ was here. And if I knew anything, then it was Rachel's scent.

"Paul's probably telling her right now." I mumbled to myself as I gripped the knob. I took in a deep breath before opening it. Stepping inside, I quickly found Paul sitting with Rachel at the small four person dining table.

"I should go." She stood from the table and came to the door where she gave me this weird look, as though she had just beaten me at something. And then she left.

"Is everything alright?" I asked as I took in his distraught features.

He took in a deep breath and leaned back in his chair, "Fine."

"Paul…baby, are you sure? If something's wrong you should tell me." I said as I edged closer to him.

"It's nothing that you have to worry about babe." He gave a small smile that was tinged with sadness. I know that Paul tells me everything, so for him to keep something from me…it has to be something bad. Which, naturally, makes me worry about what it is. "C'mon babe, let's get to bed."

In the middle of the night, I feel alone. I move my hands around the bed and find that it's empty. I un-bury my face from the pillows and look around to find that the big sliding patio door is open. I get up and walk out onto the little deck that it leads out to, where I find Paul sitting out on the swinging bench that he had set up on the deck.

"Baby, why are you out here?" I ask sleepily as I take a seat next to him.

"I couldn't sleep." He answers shortly as he pulls his gaze away from the stars to look at me, "Why aren't you sleeping babe?"

"I realized that I was alone."

"Oh, I'm sorry." He apologizes in a low whisper as he holds my hand, and keeps them on the seat in between us.

"Baby…please tell me what's bothering you. And don't say that it's nothing, because I can tell that there's _something_." I told him, my voice laced with concern.

He looked at me with such a torn expression. The moonlight was giving off such a nice light tonight, but it didn't fit the mood that had set in between us.

"Babe…you know I love you, right?"

"Of course I do Paul."

He let out a shaky sigh as he ran his free hand through his short cropped hair.

"Rachel is pregnant…and it's my kid."

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**A/N: Woop woop! Hahaha alright, so there it is. Another dramatic chapter of Not Myself Tonight! Ahahaha so I hope that it was worth the wait, but sorry that there was no sex. Ahahaha but I didn't have the inspiration for THAT! Hahaha and it was beginning to get long. Ahahaha but yeah…a long come-back. Anyways! So either, the next chapter or Chapter 5 will be the last chapter. But it will not go past five chapters. Hahaha so please review and lemme know what you thought about this long-awaited chapter of Not Myself Tonight! Review!**

**Notoriously Yours,**

**GoinnGaGa**


	4. Not Myself Tonight II

**Not Myself Tonight**

**A/N at the bottom!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it, doesn't mean I don't want it…but then again I can never have it. Sad.**

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**Not Myself Tonight II**

**Paul's POV**

"You look like you're about to throw up dude." Jared points out with a chuckle as I sit with my elbows on my knees and my head cradled in my hands as I sit hunched over on the couch in the groom's prep room.

"Jared, shut up." I growl out with frustration.

He lets out a laugh as he pats me on the back, "Chill out dude. What's the worst thing that could happen on your wedding day?"

"Jared, dude, get out. I-I need some time alone right now."

"Whatever bro." He says with another chuckle as he walks out and closes the door behind him, leaving me alone in the small room.

Am I doing the right thing right now? I mean, the obvious answer is yes! She's pregnant with my kid, and he left me. I have to support her. There's no excuse for me not to be here for her when she needs me the most. But then why do I feel sick to my stomach? I know that I re-imprinted on Jacob, but my feelings for Rachel are still here…right?

OH GOD! I cannot be doubting myself right now!

I get up and walk over to the mirror that was placed near the closet. It was one of those ones that was made of wood and had a stand so that it didn't have to be connected to a wall or anything. I grip the wooden frame of it and stare at my sweating face and watch myself take in one deep breath after another for a good two or three minutes.

"He left you Paul. He couldn't handle the pressure and he left. Jacob is gone. Rachel is here and she needs you, that's why you're gonna marry her today. Get yourself together Paul."

I don't know where it all went wrong…

_**3 Months Earlier…**_

"Rachel is pregnant…and it's my kid."

There was such a long silence between us as Jacob just stared at me with this…confused and utterly crushed.

"So that's it then?" He finally asked as he turned away from me to look straight ahead.

"No. Babe, look at me." I sound as though I'm begging, but it works and his glistening eyes lock with mine, "I've been thinking about this all day. I…I really want to be in the baby's life, ya know? And I'm sure that Rachel wants the same. And I want to be with you still because I love you so, _so _much babe. And there might be a chance that I'll have to go to court for custody, which I am more than willing to do. But what I want to know is, will you stay and help me raise this kid?"

He leaned in and pressed his lips against mine gently and then murmured a small, "yes," against my mouth.

And that was that. We were happy together. We had told Rachel of our plans, and she agreed to give me full custody of the baby because she didn't want the baby to be raised in a torn environment, and having to switch from one house to the other. But then, something had changed in Jake's mind within the course of two weeks.

"Paul, I really need to talk to you." He had said, with sadness evident in his face, body expressions, and eyes.

"About what babe?" I ask with concern as I sit next to him on the edge of our bed. We had just finished taking a shower together after running patrols, so neither of us had anything other than a towel covering our bodies.

"Paul…I don't know if I can…if I'm strong enough to deal with the fact that, a part of _her_ will always be with you."

"Babe, I've told you this over and over again; just because she's the mother of my kid, that doesn't mean that I have any feelings towards her or anything. I love you. I'm with you. Not her. So…let's stop, alright?"

I could tell that my words hadn't really helped to reassure him because he still looked sad as fuck. It almost looked like…he was trying to make a decision in his head. A decision that was tearing him apart inside. I had a plan to take whatever this thing was, and put it far, far, _far _from his mind.

I initiate it, as I usually do, by pushing him back on the bed and pushing his thighs apart with my knee and settling between them. I crash our lips together roughly, and things quickly grow intense from there. Our towels are quickly thrown away from our bodies, and no sooner than a second after, we're grinding our aching erections together with such heat and fervor that it's got me seeing stars with the simple action. His hands are gripping my upper arms tightly as my own are down controlling the pace of his bucking hips.

He moves his mouth from my own and to my ear to breathe out the words, "I want you in me."

I quickly comply, as I move one hand from his hips and bring it to my cock as I position myself at his hot, awaiting entrance and slowly begin to push in until I'm balls deep inside of him; surrounded by his tight warmth. We've done this enough times for me to know that he wants me to kiss him and wait to let him adjust before I begin to thrust my hips. So I do. I mold our lips together and let them move fluidly against each other in eager anticipation for what's to come. He moves a hand up my back and further up until it's gripping my hair tightly, and that's my green light.

I pull out until only the tip is inside of his heat, and then plunge back in quickly. Building a pace off of this, as we groan into the other's mouth and no other noise but the clapping of skin fills the room. We continue like this until he pulls away from my mouth once again to moan out, "Oh Paul…Paul, t-touch me. Please."

I don't answer, but simply recover his mouth with mine and reach one hand in between our bodies and grip his neglecting and pre cum oozing cock, giving it a soft squeeze and causing him to arch his back up against my body with need and desire for more as I continue to thrust into him. I rub him quicker as I feel my climax coming up on me, and to my relief I'm not the first to cum as he shoots his white hot juices all over our stomachs. My own jizz shooting deep inside of him as my body slows down with both exhaustion and contentment. We lay with my own body collapse onto his own, both of us breathing rough and heavy trying to catch our breath.

Finally, I roll off of him, and then he rests his head on my chest as we both lay together still covered in mess.

Lying in the ever so sweet afterglow of our love making, I ran my hand up and down his back as he slept soundly on my chest. God I love him so much, and everybody in the fucking pack knew that I would do anything for him. I fell asleep within a few minutes, dreaming about our future with the child that we would soon be raising together. But I woke up to realize that I was alone in bed. I got up wearily, calling out his name, but got no reply. I found a note taped to the front door, it was from Jacob. He had left me, saying that he couldn't deal with the fact that we would be raising Rachel's child and that he thought that I should be with Rachel because she needs my help.

_**Present Day…**_

And so I did. And here we are three months later, on mine and Rachel's wedding day; with me on the verge of vomiting and running out of the church. But there was no time for any of that because Jared, my best man, was now standing in the doorway with a cheesy grin on his face. He's been really happy ever since he imprinted on that girl named Kim. I've only met her a few times, and we never really interacted because I've been less than social ever since Jake left me. Nobody knows where he's staying, and that only adds to the nerves that I feel.

"It's time dude." He tells me, and my mouth goes dry. "You look kinda-"

"Don't say it. Let's just…let's just go." I say as I march my way past him, tugging at the collar of my shirt as I begin to feel constricted by the suit.

We walk out to the altar, in front of the all of the expectant guests. I stand right next to the priest, whose name keeps slipping my mind. Standing to the left of me is Jared and Sam. The double at the end of the aisle were closed still, but I found no relief from the fact that nothing had happened yet. My eyes roam over the side of the small church where my family and friends sit, and look over the few people that are here. In fact, now that I think about it, mostly everyone here is from the Black family. I hold my breath, hoping that by some miracle I might find Jacob sitting somewhere in the crowd. And of course, I didn't. I did, however, lock eyes with Seth who looked as though he was extremely uncomfortable. Probably missing his imprint, that Cullen guy. Lord knows that there was some hell being raised when people found out that he imprinted on a vampire; in fact, the only reason that he hasn't been banished is because Harry Clearwater is a very respected member of the council. I felt bad for the kid; he was only seventeen, and he's already going through so much because he imprinted on the wrong person. The rest of the pack members are always keeping an eye out for the kid because there are more than a few people that have been harassing him at school. Poor kid.

I'm pulled out of the weird gaze that we share as the doors open and the bridesmaids start walking in. And then I see Rachel, looking stunning in her white gown with her hair done. Still, I feel nervous if not even worse than I did before.

Standing in front of her now, our hands joined, the priest begins to speak, "Dearly beloved, we are-"

"She cheated on you with Jared and she's pregnant but the baby is Jared and it isn't yours but she didn't tell you and she threatened to have someone do something to you if he didn't leave and so now he's gone and you're getting married but now I'm telling you…" He shouts in a rushed breath as he stands from his seat in the middle of the bench seats in between his parents. Everyone's looking at him with shock, and he fidgets with his hands nervously, "So…yeah."

I manage to tear my eyes away from Seth and look back at Rachel, who was staring at me with a blank expression. "Is it true?" I manage to ask through clenched teeth as I try to control my anger.

"I-I…Paul you have to understand-"

"Is. It. True." I growl out as I drop her hands and clench my hands into tight fists at my sides.

She looks down to the floor and gives a small nod. I bring a hand up to roughly run it through my hair and I rub it down my face. I turn around and face Jared, who looks as though he's about to shit himself. I decide that there's something far more important than either of these two that are here now.

I growl out a low, "We're done," to Rachel before making my way down the aisle to get out of the church, but I stop midway and point at Seth, "You, outside, now."

He quickly follows me out of the church, and then further and further until we were standing in the forest. I began to pace back and forth, trying to walk out the frustration because if anything, he's the last person that deserved to have my frustration taken out on.

"How do you know?"

"J-Jacob told me." He mumbles nervously, causing me to stop dead in my tracks.

I practically run to where he stands and grip him by the shoulders, "You know where he is?" He was looking away from me, and still hadn't answered so I shook him roughly and yelled, "Do you know where he is?"

"Yes!" He finally answers, "I'll…I'll take you to him. C'mon." He slips out of my grasp and turns his back to me as he begins to remove his jacket, "We should phase; it'll be faster."

I nod, even though he can't see it, and begin to strip my suit. As soon as I'm in my wolf form, I only pick up my pants in my mouth and begin to follow Seth, whose done the same and started running off. I quickly notice that he's trying hard to keep his mind on some song lyrics, and continues to repeat them over and over. After the fiftieth time of hearing the chorus of, "We R Who We R," by Kesha, I'm about ready to bite his fucking tail off; but I restrain myself as I keep reminding myself of the fact that he's the one that's taking me to Jake.

As Seth comes to a halt, my heart begins to race. We're both humans now, wearing the pants of our suits, as we walk up to a very familiar looking house. It was huge, and mostly made up of windows. This was the Cullen's home. She was leading the way up to the front door, which burst open suddenly, revealing that huge bloo-er…vampire. Is that the one that Seth imprinted on?

"Baby!" He calls out with excitement as he rushes forward and picks up Seth, then carrying him away.

I hear Seth's loud laughter as he starts to protest, "Emmett! Calm down, I have to take him to Jake!"

I wait in the doorway as I watch them come back to me from halfway up the staircase. They're joined at the hands, and Seth is all smiles while Emmett looks just a bit frustrated.

"C'mon, he's in a room upstairs." Seth tells me, and I quickly follow them up the stairs and down a hallway until we reach the third door on the right side of the long hallway.

It's white, just like practically everything else in this house. I'm the only one standing in front of it, as Seth and Emmett have left me to go back downstairs. I grip the doorknob and take a few deep breaths before finally pushing it open.

He's asleep, I think as a relieved sigh passes my lips; my eyes raking over his exposed back as he lays on his stomach with the sheet stopping at his waistline. I stepped inside and gently closed the door behind me. I take quiet steps and sit on the edge of the bed and begin to lightly run a hand through his hair. I smiled when he seemed to snuggle closer to my sitting form. After a few minutes, his eyes finally flutter open and we lock eyes.

"Paul?" He murmurs out with disbelief.

"Yes my love?"

"W-What're you doing here?"

"What does it look like?"

"No, I mean…you're supposed to be marrying R-"

"No. You see, I almost did because the love of my life left me and didn't tell me that she cheated on me and that the baby wasn't even mine. But, luckily for us, Seth decided to tell me…and everyone else in the damn church." I say with a chuckle.

"But she…she said that she'd get somebody to hurt you…I didn't anything to happen to you."

"Jacob…really? You really believed that she was gonna find a way to hurt _me_? I find that insulting." I chuckle again, "For one, I'm no fucking pushover, and two, I have the pack on my side. I highly doubt that anything would hurt me…well, anything but you."

"So…what now?"

"Well, you look a little sick. So, we'll wait for Dr. Fang to give you the a-ok, and then I'll take you home." I shrug with a wide smile.

"That's it? We're just gonna be together?"

I nod with the same smile, "Yup. Just us."

"…okay then."

I crawl over to be behind him and begin to hold him from behind, "Get some rest babe. I'll wake you when the doc gets here."

"Paul?"

"Hm?"

"I love you."

"I love you too. Now get some rest."

We lay there, listening to his soft breaths, feeling his warm skin against mine, holding him in my arms, feeling totally and completely content with him. This is how life should be…how it will be. We're gonna be happy, and be together no matter what bumps may come along through our life. Because it will be a life that we share together; and it might not be full of good times, but the good times that we will have will be so worth any of the bad.

And it all started when I decided that for just one night…I was going to be what Jake needed me to be. Now, that person is who I want to be all the time. So no, I'm not gonna be myself tonight, or tomorrow, or ever again if it means that I'm going to lose him. Because he's all that matters to me.

He's all I have, want, or will ever need.

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**A/N: Yay! Hahaha the end! Hahaha I do realize that this was rushed, but to me it just seems right. Hahaha but I will promise you all this! If I can get to 110 Reviews, then I'll do a future-take so that you'll be able to see how our boys are doing. Ahahaha, but! For now, I just want to thank everybody that read this story! Hahaha, it was a huge success, and I'm so proud of it. I love writing Jacob/Paul stories…and I think that I'm gonna make them my full time pairing. So, sorry to all those that love when I write Seth/Jacob, but I think that I do these two so much better! Hahaha so yes! There may be a chance of a future-take and lemme know what you think of the whole Paul/Jacob thing. Hahaha who knows. Anyway! Thanks so much for the support, and thanks so much for reading!**

**Notoriously Yours,**

**GoinnGaGa**


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